Sunday, April 4, 2021.

I love placing my phone on my chest so I can feel the vibration of my Snapchat notifications in my heart. It's like he's here with me in some way. He wants to meet up for the first time on Thursday but I'm scared. He probably just wants to get in my pants, cause he says I should stay the night. Yeah, fuck that. I'm not letting anyone take advantage of me again. Kinda want him to rail me at the same time tho. Just not after our first meeting.

Saturday, April 3, 2021.

God I wish I could just get stoned and fade away. What's the point of all this bullshit when it leads to nothing in the end? I want to run away and be free. Who wants to come with me into the forest and throw a sad "fuck everything"-party?

Thursday, April 1, 2021.

I see myself falling down a black hole. It's some stupid endless pit and I'm stuck, alone. I have to stop trying to reach out to people because all I'll do is drag them down with me. They don't care enough to make an effort either way, it's always been like that.